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s e i z e m e . . .    and try to hold on

skimming the basics:

a thousand words

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happy lunar/chinese new year

Stamped: 9:49 PM

it's that time of year...

[to the temple i go...]



okay so i always feel really guilty because the only time when i pray is when i feel like shit is going to hit the fan and splatter all over me. so i pray for stupid things like 'please let me finish this in time' or 'please get this ghost off of me' (don't ask..haha) or 'please let me get out of this situation safely' and of course 'please let me past this test' (that one's a bit outdated).

but on birthdays and holidays, when i get my wish, i actually ask for something important and worthwhile. and so today, when i went to the temple, it was time for me to make my modest prayer and wish. i haven't step foot into a temple for awhile now...it must have been two summers ago in vietnam when i paid my respects.

(yeah i thought i was agnostic too. but with a buddhist flair. i'm not very disciplined. i just try to be a good person. that should be ok in some god's book right??)

so i kneeled there in front of buddha, incense in hand held up to my forehead, and reflected about what's important to me, and prayed. i took a little longer than most people...and contrary to popular belief it wasn't because i was wishing for a million things but it takes me awhile to gather my thoughts in vietnamese. but i managed, and i hope they understood me.



and then we went outside to the female buddha. not sure what she goes by in the english language, but usually you pray to her and can ask for your fortune. you do this with a shaker in your hand full of red sticks with different numbers on them. as you pray and shake, a stick should fall out. i think this is the fun part =)



and whatever number you get on that stick, you go to the cabinets nearby to find your fortune, which is nicely printed and mass produced for your taking



i managed to get a very good fortune from the shaker--one of the best there is ('thuong thuong'). i can only read a handful of words in vietnamese, so my mom had to translate it for me. she says it's good. score one for diem.

my mom also got me a fortune based on my birthdate. everything was good i think, except for the love department, where it says 'vui it buon nhieu.' literally, it translates to 'happy little, sadness/loneliness a lot.' minus one for diem.

anyway. it was nice. the temple. and being with family. i felt so fortunate, and i feel like i have to give more. i donated to the sick kids in vietnam on a whim. baby steps.

my mommy and me


la madre, me, and my favorite auntie


the sisters


to another new year. damn. i'm only getting older huh?

+ i taught by myself at ensign middleschool today =)
+ no bad thoughts. i'll save it for tomorrow
+ happy new year everyone

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any thoughts?
your thoughts | no thoughts

always, on repeat

"get down on your knees whisper what i need something pretty i feel that when i'm old i'll look at you and know the world is beautiful then you tell me you say that love goes anywhere in your darkest time it's just enough to know it's there when you go i'll let you be but you're killing everything in me"