[til someone gets hurt, anyway]

sometimes i start blogging and then i get distracted. and then at some point i revisit what i wrote and either think, hm, that was interesting, or hm, i need to think about that some more. when the latter happens, like right now, i feel compelled to finish my thoughts.

but first off, another distraction: i've been so scatterbrained lately that it's pretty ridiculous. the only thing that kept my spirits up were the blue skies and waters driving up and down PCH, and coming home to pretty flowers. its not much but those things get me grinning like an idiot. in any case, the weather turned crappy for whatever reason and my flowers are dying, despite all the water and ice i feed them (it was really hot in my room). and now i'm listening to trance music. wth.


ok. back to my original thought. a snippet from last week's worktime conversation:


gf: if you dont play the game does that mean you lose?
me: haha no you can only lose/win if u play. but you may be missing out. just depends on how u see it ;p
gf: welll ok
me: or u can be like me and play for fun
gf: i dont like playing games!
me: ie, not invested in the game if u win/lose
gf: but i want to play like... i dont know how to play games. i just wanna cut to the chase. i want to hang out with 'xxx' without the whole playing hard to get
me: then just hang out with him
gf: not knowing when you'll talk to them next cuz you dont want to seem a certain way
me: or make him play your game
gf: but they are probably doing the same thing. its SO STUPID i dont like hot and cold. i just want hot hot!
me: tell him that 'we can play the game if you really want but i just wanna skip to the part where u win the prize' hahaha

so the conversation continued and i concluded the following:

a) it's all fun and games until you lose track of time and get caught up in the game, even though you weren't that serious about it in the first place. at that point you're invested and you just don't want to lose. solution? quit, win, or play another game. just beware, it can knock you down.

b) it requires some level of patience. when the ball is in the other person's court, you just gotta wait for it to come back. or you can grab the ball from them, but then they'll know how much you really want it. and it's possible that the other person just wants to up and go with the ball. so you can either entice them to continue playing, or you can just let it go. there are plenty of people around the court to play with. it's their loss, really.

c) it's possible you'll get the crazy one who does not abide by any rules. they probably make up their own crazy rules and you'll get caught up in whatever crazy game they come up with. this can be very stressful but exciting, because it's more unpredictable and much more challenging. but unless you got stamina and are willing to continue, the craziness will probably wear you out and it'll just be fun while it lasted. a memorable experience, to say the least. unless it turns out regrettable.

d) you get tired, or worse yet, you get injured. you can continue playing, but it'll only hurt and tire you more. you decide to sit out for a bit, or for awhile. you might be thinking, damn, i thought i was better at this game, or how did i allow myself to get hurt? or you just ran out of energy, or you got bored, the momentum got lost in between possessions of the ball. in any case, you sit out. and you wonder, am i missing out? but then you realize you have to get back to your studies, your family, your friends, your life. you only have so much bandwidth, and energy can neither be created nor destroyed. so it's time to reallocate your energy to all the other items on your priority list.

e) none, and all of the above. c'est la vie.

just be a good sport. shake hands, and proceed accordingly.